Shatter Like Glass
by gingersnapped907
Summary: When life just keeps throwing things at you sometime you shatter like glass. Is it all too much for Sharon? This goes with the song by Keith Urban "Break on Me." To me it's such a Shandy song especially during these Epic5! It also goes with my "deleted scene" series and ties in with episodes 419-421.
_**_**~Shatter Like Glass~**_**_

This story goes with the song by Keith Urban "Break on Me." To me, it's such a touching Shandy song, especially during these Epic5!

It also goes with my "deleted scene" series and ties in with episodes 419-421.

 ** _ _Disclaimer__ :** I own nothin' of Major Crimes, nothin'!

* * *

The sounds he heard coming from the shower were so gut-wrenching that when he put a hand to his stomach he could almost feel the pain.

Earlier, Andy called Rusty to see if he thought it would be alright for him to bring over dinner for all three of them. He had said he thought it would be a great idea since they both knew she wasn't taking the time to eat. Even over the phone, Andy could hear a touch of sadness in the kid's voice as he talked about Sharon. He explained how she had been in her room since getting home. Andy said he would pick up the food and be right over. He had already been home, showered and changed, but he couldn't get over his worry for Sharon. The kid said he didn't need any dinner because he was leaving to spend time with Gus, but wouldn't be leaving for about a half hour. Rusty explained quickly about feeling guilty about adding to his mom's problems and concerns, Sharon had too much on her shoulders lately.

On the way over to the condo, Andy wondered what else could go wrong. In these past few days it seemed as if it was Murphy's Law, if anything could go wrong, it will go wrong. He really did hope that all their other kids and families were doing fine. When he knocked on the door, it was immediately opened. Rusty said as he was passing on his way out that Sharon was in the shower and had been in there for a while. After shutting and locking the front door, Andy set their food in the kitchen. He took his suit jacket off and placed it on the back of a dining room chair. Smiling as he walked around, he couldn't help but feel very at home in her condo. He had spent a lot of time here, sitting at this table making breakfast, lunch, and dinner in her kitchen. He had even sat at her home desk to go over files. Mostly, he enjoyed the time they spent sitting on her couch watching the news or going over cases and paperwork. He had never set foot in Sharon's bedroom. He didn't want to, that was her personal space, but as he went down the hallway to let her know he was here what he heard from the other side of the bathroom door stopped him cold. So instead of knocking, Andy decided to quietly enter her bedroom and sit on the side of the bed that was closest to her bathroom door.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there in the dim light staring at his hands in his lap when he finally heard the door open. He tried to hide the surprise he felt from his face when his eyes met hers. The first surprise was that Sharon was wearing his favorite green terry cloth robe, he had wondered for a while now where it had gone. It looked good on her and he would have said so and tell her to keep it except his voice was stuck behind the lump in his throat because his eyes had wandered up to her face and he could see how red and puffy her eyes were.

After recovering from the shock of seeing Andy sitting on her bed, Sharon tried to quickly turn around to go back into the bathroom. She didn't really want to see anyone right now, not like this and least of all him. She was feeling like everything was crumbling around her. It was all becoming too much. She felt the weight of the innocent people that have been killed from these cases because she couldn't solve them fast enough. Sharon thought if she had had all the information that was withheld from her in her earlier IA investigation, none of the current deaths would have ever happened. The things Hickman said and the names he called her had gotten to her a bit, not that she couldn't handle 'Captain Poppins.' She had been called much worse, in-fact by Mark Hickman himself. It was much harder having it done in front of her team after working so hard to gain their trust. Then there was the job offer hanging over her head and the pressure by the NFL to give them a decision, also there's Rusty who was still vulnerable and his mom. Who knew how much trouble Sharon Beck was in?

When she said out loud in the electronics room earlier today, 'what else could go wrong?' She was really scared to find out. At this point, everything seemed to be going wrong. One thing she was happy about was that her other two kids were safe and sound. Sharon called them as soon as she had gotten home just to say a quick hello. It helped the mother in her to hear their voices.

Since Assistant Chief Taylor sent them all home for a few hours break, Sharon figured she'd hurry home to take a shower, change into some fresh clothes then either go back to the office or go over the paperwork and evidence in her condo. There was still so much to work out, to solve this complicated case that seemed to get more complicated with each passing minute. Though in this downtime, she knew she should take the time to eat, but she didn't think her stomach could handle anything.

The biggest problem with all that's going on right now was Sharon Raydor liked being in control and having things run smoothly, but lately, she was feeling like a failure in her professional life and her personal life too. Mostly, she was struggling to be a girlfriend. It had been a long time since she had even been dating and then trying to balance work and working with Andy was getting harder than she expected. Not that they both didn't respect each other and knew at work it was all about work. It was just getting harder to stay away from Andy at work. Sharon had to think of him as her subordinate and her lieutenant to get through the day. In the past few weeks, she had let a little flirting slip by. She was surprised she had actually played with his tie in the murder room. So she had vowed to keep it more professional at work. Andy laughed when he mentioned that Provenza asked if they broke up since they seemed to be ignoring each other. That's perfect, now everyone was probably thinking she was as cold as the IA rumor made her out to be. There was just no winning in this. Her hope was that Andy didn't feel that way, that she was being cold to him. Sharon knew they needed to have a conversation about their relationship soon. It felt as if everything was falling apart.

Earlier before starting her shower, she said a quick hello to her son, then escaped into the bathroom to take a long shower. She really felt the need to try and wash away everything. Sharon's emotions ran away with her as soon as she stepped under the spray of the hot water. It was a safe place to let it all out, hoping that the sounds of the shower drowned out her crying. The tears were free flowing; there was no way to hold them back once the dam broke. As the sobs shook her body, she had to place a hand on the wall so she didn't slip as the tears blurred her vision. She hoped her legs would hold her up because if she sat down now she wasn't sure if she had the strength to get back up again. Physically and emotionally she felt like she was shattering like glass as if she was falling to pieces. Feeling so raw and vulnerable, it was something she didn't like. Sharon Raydor was used to being in control, especially her emotions and these last few days she felt anything but in control. She wasn't sure how long she stood there under the beating down water, but when she shivered and realized the water was getting cold, she hurried up and finished her shower, still sniffing from the powerful release.

She tried to pull herself together as she wrapped herself in the robe taking a deep breath of it as she snuggled up into the warm green material. All it made her want to do was talk to Andy. Even though she had seen him almost 24/7 this last week, he was her lieutenant and she really just needed him. She didn't want him to see her like this, she thought as she wrapped her wet hair up in a small towel and looked in the mirror at her red puffy eyes. Maybe she would call Andy after she got dressed, just hearing his voice she knew would help her feel better. He was used to having her call even at 2am, he wouldn't mind sitting up and talking about random things just to distract her mind so she could relax and go to sleep.

Now here she was in her bedroom looking the one person, that deep down she wanted to see most, but she was trying to escape. Andy had a look in his eyes of what she wasn't sure of. The last thing she needed was pity or maybe it was how bad she looked. Before she could make it back in the bathroom, she heard Andy call her name causing her to stop. There was so much in that one word, the way he said it could melt her heart. As Sharon turned slowly around she heard him say softly, "come here," as he held his arms open for her. That was all it took, she was surround by him in one step.

They just held each other. Right now that was all that was needed. Andy held on to Sharon tightly. He wanted her to know that he cared for her more than he could say at the moment. He let one hand slide up and down her back, as he spoke, "Sharon, never forget when you need somebody. You're where I'll be. Take as long as it takes."

She was completely cried out and drained of tears but it was so nice to just be held. As she stood in his arms, she felt so safe that she came apart in his hands. Sharon knew as she laid her head on his chest, he could help her forget. Earlier, she felt that her heart was breaking and had shattered like glass, but now she knew Andy was helping her heart heal all the broken pieces.

After staying there for longer than either of them knew, Andy nuzzled Sharon's hair then whispered in her ear, "how about you get dressed. I brought dinner." When he felt her stiffen he held her tighter and told her firmly, "and yes, you are eating." Andy took in a deep breath of her shampoo; it was so her and filled him completely.

Sharon reluctantly stepped back, she didn't really want to let him go but he was right and they had a case to solve before there were even more bodies. The towel that she had wrapped up her hair in had long since fallen away and she noticed water spots on his shirt. "Andy, I'm getting you wet. Sorry about that."

"It's just water it will be fine." He leaned in and kissed her then said, "I'll be in the dining room getting the food ready. Take your time getting ready, the world of crime isn't going anywhere."

"Thank you, Andy. I won't be that long." She was smiling as she watched him leave her room and close the door. She made quick work at getting ready; using some concealer to try and hide the redness that was still circled her eyes. As Sharon was dressing she made sure to match her blouse to Andy's tie. He usually found a way to match her but she was happy to be the one to do it this time as she straightened her dark blue shirt and put on a black blazer.

They were due back soon but they still had time to eat and talk or just relax for a moment. There was a comfortable silence between them as they ate, but after a few times of catching Andy looking like he wanted to say something, Sharon put out there, "do you want me to take it? You seemed excited about it."

Andy's head popped up at her words. At first, he was surprised Sharon just came out and asked him. They had talked about it a little but it was completely her decision to make. He slowly set his fork down and decided to be honest with her. "The job offer? Of course, I do. I'm excited about it for you. Hell, Sharon, I'd take it in a heartbeat if they offered it to me... a few years ago. You love sports, especially football and this is a great opportunity for you." Andy held his hand, palm up on the table and when Sharon placed her hand in his Andy interlocked their fingers holding on tight. "Your kids are grown, they are for the most part happy, healthy and thriving. It's time you should be thinking about what you want out of life and doing what you want to do."

"I am doing what I want to do, Andy. I love my job and I love... my life right here in LA." She blinked a few time at thinking what she almost said how she felt about him. A realization hit her, maybe it was time to tell him.

"Sharon, I would miss you more than you could ever know but I won't hold you back and just think of the stories you'd have to tell me when you got back into town. If you ever have an extra ticket and I could get time off of work..." Andy stopped and thought about that before realizing, "oh wait, when you leave or retire, Major Crimes would be getting a new leader. They better not give it to Provenza or they would never get any paperwork turned in unless Tao or I do it."

She smiled at Andy's panic, but her voice didn't carry that smile as she said, "Andy, I'm not taking the job. I don't want to leave Major Crimes or LAPD. I will probably be like Lieutenant Provenza and die at my desk with a stapler in my hand."

"What, Sharon you won't take a job of a lifetime that so many would kill for?" Andy stopped at her raised an eyebrow. "You know what I mean. Not kill as in literally."

"No, I don't want to do anything that would take me away from what I've spent years building. As I said I don't want to leave the LAPD, the division, LA, Rusty or _you_ not even for a day." Her thumb was stroking along Andy's fingers as she watched him intently. She knew she caught him off guard by the stunned look on his face.

Before she knew it he pulled her close to him across the table and he leaned in and kissed her. Andy spoke softly when he pulled back and looked into her eyes, "Sharon, I will not be part of the reason you pass this up." He reached over and put his other hand on her cheek, "I'll wait in case you need me."

Sharon stood up and walked over to him, "Andy, you have no idea how much I need you by me. It won't keep anymore. You are not part of the reason I'm not taking the job, you are the main reason I'm telling them no." She worried as she saw the frown form on his face. Sharon knew he wouldn't want her doing this for him, but she wanted him, no needed him to know how she felt. "You see, I love you and I'm not sure if you could ever love someone with so many issues but..."

She never got the rest of the words out, Andy had stood up next to her and pulled her against him and kissed her mid-sentence. After they had poured out all they were feeling into a deep passionate kiss. He backed away to look at her but kept a tight hold on her. "I love you, Sharon and I have for a long time. I think we both come with issues or baggage if you will and I don't want it any other way." He kissed her again, "so if you aren't taking the job and staying here we can keep having Sunday football parties at either of our places. Even if you are a devoted Cheesehead."

She playfully smacked him lightly on the chest, "well, I do love a friendly rivalry." With that Sharon leaned into Andy ran her hands around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. After finally needing air they took a step back. He smiled down at her until she broke the moment as she said, "I think we need to get back to the office."

In a somber voice, Andy agreed. "Yes, let's get going and find the scumbags behind all these latest killing and find some way to put that moron Hickman either behind bars or out of our lives for good."

"You are right, Andy. Let's get back to the murder room." As they picked up their coats, she collected her purse, badge, gun, and carried her phone, Sharon stopped at her door and turned to Andy. As she straightened his tie, she said, "one more thing before we have to get back into captain and lieutenant modes again, thank you for everything you do for me, Andy. I may not say it all the time, but it doesn't go by unnoticed." She gave him a tight hug then stood back.

He couldn't reply because of the lump in his throat. So instead Andy kissed her and hoped she would feel all the love he had for her. With no words, they stood for a few seconds and just looked into each other's eyes. At the sound of her phone ringing in her hand, Sharon finally broke eye contact with him as she answered it in a steely voice, "Captain Raydor." With that, she opened the door to head back to work but this time with a smile on her face. As they walked to the elevators she could feel the warmth of Andy's hand on the small of her back making her smile even more. Hanging up the phone and leaning into his side slightly as they moved, Sharon thought maybe sometimes you have to let yourself shatter like glass to feel whole again.

 _ **~The End~**_


End file.
